The Battle of the Spring Concerts

Noah, I think I have a fetish for arbitrary battles 'n' shit. There was the Classiness Tournament from way back when the font was smaller, the Battle of the Kubrick Superstars that went on for four months, and a bunch more that I probably forgot to tag.

The newest battle is ripped from the headlines and pits two big-name events against each other.

PITT'S BIGELOW BASH 2.0
v.
CARNEGIE MELLON'S SPRING CARNIVAL

The Rundown
Carnegie Mellon's spring carnival has been around for a while and features events like the great Greek buggy race and, typically, a very Indie band. Pitt's usually inferior Bigelow Bash was upgraded to "2.0" this year, although it's not clear if that's because they changed the event to be more like Carnegie's or because The Academy Is... sucked so much last year.

The Headliners
The Black Keys (Carnegie Mellon)
v. Jack's Mannequin (Pitt)

The Black Keys' "Your Touch," not to be confused with the much better Bad Touch, is an alright song. The two-man band, though, runs into problems because most of their songs sound just about the same. Meanwhile, Pitt is clearly going for the girl turnout. They might pull out the victory over The Black Keys, though, if they whip out the piano and acoustic guitar, because that usually makes their music a little more appealing.

The Openers
mewithoutYou (Carnegie Mellon)
v. Sleepy V and Sleeping with a Bullet (Pitt)

I looked up mewithoutYou, and apparently they travel in a big bus powered by vegetable oil. This is this year's very Indie band. They also fall under "experimental rock." Pitt wins this provided people stay awake for Battle of the Bands winner and runner-up Sleepy V and Sleeping with a Bullet, which are terrible names for this scenario.

The Comedians
Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter (Carnegie Mellon)









v. Daniel Tosh (Pitt)










Black, I assume the nephew of Lewis Black, is best known for analyzing the decades on VH1 and for a joke delivery that sounds like a psychiatrist gently asking about marital troubles. Tosh, meanwhile, and I'm just ripping off of Wikipedia here, say terrible things in an adorable way. I don't think either of them has a signature joke like hot pockets or white people. I'm sure both will be mildly pleasing, but Black has the baggage of Showalter with him, and I'm worried he'll immediately reminisce about it to me after the show.

The Rest
The Pitt Program Council's website says to "throw out your opinions of the past and embrance the future concept of this new event." As much as I want to embrance the event, you can tell that it's still run by a bunch of tangerines. They don't have any side events outside of "a carnival theme" that costs money. Carnegie, though, has a ton of stuff. They have a performance of Richard III, a jazz ensemble, something called "battlecake," screenings of the film majors' stuff and CHEMISTRY LAB TOURS. I even saw four separate pot deals walking though the midway last year. Still, a lot of it is Thursday and Friday when I have class.

Overall
I'll probably just go to see Hot Tub Time Machine again.